How to buy
a Christmas tree in Vienna
* Wait for the 15th of December
when the Christmas tree lots open
* Stop at "your" farmer's lot
on your way home from work -
rest assured, there is one between
you tram stop and your home!
* A warm hello to the "Lord of the Trees"
and a gentle reminder that none
of the trees on the lot are to your liking
* Describe in glowing detail that
gorgeous tree you bought from him
* Allow your farmer an offer
to go visit his Christmas tree woods
right that same evening and
cut that one tree he knows will please you!
* Make arrangements for the tree
to be delivered and set up
in your living room the next evening
* Start decorating the tree -
I have not asked, but quite possibly
somewhere in Vienna an elf
is waiting to be hired to take
this chore too off your hands!
packing your kids in the car
and driving to the Christmas tree lot
and then wrestling that monster onto
the roof of the car and driving home
and the whole mess of setting the tree up -
all but a distant memory!
Are you ready for coffee?
Tea or chocolate?
Off to the Kaffeehaus!